10:34 pm - and thus
we learn about ourselves.
I have discovered a couple of parts to my current cycle. The easiest to deal with is related to sleep and likely adrenal fatigue. I went to bed last night at an extremely reasonable hour for me (I was in bed before 11:00) and this morning when the alarm sounded, rather than hit the snooze bar... I turned it off. I did climb out of bed at 7:45 (only an hour and 45 minutes after the alarm sounded) and I felt much better than I have in weeks. Almost happy even. I ended up working from home since the locksmith called while I was in the shower, showed up later than he expected and took far longer with the door than anyone expected. That worked in my favor as it allowed for a nap later in the day and well, as soon as I finish this I'm off to bed. I'm also working on keeping my blood sugar at the right levels and being careful what I eat when, including when I intake caffeine. We'll see how it all goes, but I do believe that is part of my problem.
The comes the second part of my self discovery... well, mostly self discovery with![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
cluegirl pointing out a couple of pertinent facts when I was telling her. That issue, anger with no place to go. There are things that I have gotten quite upset about, things that seem out of my control (and in many cases are), that I get angry about. The thing is, I feel like no one would notice or care if I let it out and thus I just turn it in and well, that just never has good results. This actually seems to have some basis in when I was a child and molested, not telling and seeing if anyone noticed, which if anyone ever did nothing was said to me about it.
Additionally, I have this problem with drama. I have a problem with it on many levels, so I try not to have it. Of course part of this is that I seem far more calm and in control than I really am. I make comments that for me are huge but it rolls off most people. The example Clue and I talked about in the car: I'm not likely to yell out "Oh god, I'm being mauled by a wolf!", I'm more likely to say something along the lines of "Excuse me, there's something gnawing on my leg and it appears to be large and grey." What this also tends to mean is that something that is really taking an extreme amount of effort for me to do or say tends to get overlooked as not that big of a deal. That of course, makes it harder for me to reach out the next time, landing me in the downward death spiral.
So, there you have it. At least what of it I know.
Now I'm going to make certain that the fantastic soup of the evening has been put away and then find bed.
I have discovered a couple of parts to my current cycle. The easiest to deal with is related to sleep and likely adrenal fatigue. I went to bed last night at an extremely reasonable hour for me (I was in bed before 11:00) and this morning when the alarm sounded, rather than hit the snooze bar... I turned it off. I did climb out of bed at 7:45 (only an hour and 45 minutes after the alarm sounded) and I felt much better than I have in weeks. Almost happy even. I ended up working from home since the locksmith called while I was in the shower, showed up later than he expected and took far longer with the door than anyone expected. That worked in my favor as it allowed for a nap later in the day and well, as soon as I finish this I'm off to bed. I'm also working on keeping my blood sugar at the right levels and being careful what I eat when, including when I intake caffeine. We'll see how it all goes, but I do believe that is part of my problem.
The comes the second part of my self discovery... well, mostly self discovery with
cluegirl pointing out a couple of pertinent facts when I was telling her. That issue, anger with no place to go. There are things that I have gotten quite upset about, things that seem out of my control (and in many cases are), that I get angry about. The thing is, I feel like no one would notice or care if I let it out and thus I just turn it in and well, that just never has good results. This actually seems to have some basis in when I was a child and molested, not telling and seeing if anyone noticed, which if anyone ever did nothing was said to me about it.Additionally, I have this problem with drama. I have a problem with it on many levels, so I try not to have it. Of course part of this is that I seem far more calm and in control than I really am. I make comments that for me are huge but it rolls off most people. The example Clue and I talked about in the car: I'm not likely to yell out "Oh god, I'm being mauled by a wolf!", I'm more likely to say something along the lines of "Excuse me, there's something gnawing on my leg and it appears to be large and grey." What this also tends to mean is that something that is really taking an extreme amount of effort for me to do or say tends to get overlooked as not that big of a deal. That of course, makes it harder for me to reach out the next time, landing me in the downward death spiral.
So, there you have it. At least what of it I know.
Now I'm going to make certain that the fantastic soup of the evening has been put away and then find bed.